When cancer surgery left Henri Matisse unable to paint, he discovered "drawing with scissors."

"During the last fifteen years of his life, Henri Matisse developed his final artistic triumph by "cutting into color." The drama, scale, and innovation of Matisse's rare and fragile papiers coupes (paper cutouts) remain without precedent or parallel. His technique involved the freehand cutting of colored papers into beautiful shapes, which he then pinned loosely to the white studio walls, later adjusting, recutting, combining, and recombining them to his satisfaction. The result created an environment that transcended the boundaries of conventional painting, drawing, and sculpture." (National Gallery of Art)



"He is the master of a truly marvelous style, deft and neat and witty and finely balanced, and all the rest of the adjectives we have sprinkled over his reputation in the last forty years.  At the heart of the style is his feeling for time; in the trio blues which opens the second track it was fascinating to watch his hands lying supine on the keys in between pecks as the vibraphone enters the performance.  One would observe the pecks and glance round at the faces of the musicians watching; every one was smiling, and every smile is a greater tribute to Basie's achievement than any of those adjectives I listed."(from the liner notes for Count Basie Jam Session at the Montreux Jazz Festival 1975).

Today seems like a good day to test your vocabulary (it has been nearly four years since my last little quiz) so I have consulted my dog-eared copy of Depraved and Insulting English, by Peter Novobatzky and Ammon Shea and I offer this up for your amusement and edification.

In each of the following sets of words, three share a certain commonality in their definitions.  One does not belong.  All you have to do is tell me which word does not belong.  And because I'm a nice guy, I'll do one for you.  And each set of words comes with a hint.

For example, if I said
HINT: The three words that belong together each refer to a commercial use of urine.  Which word doesn't belong?
A.  Leint
B.  Lant
C.  Liffy 
D.  Lotium 

You would answer, "C" Liffy and you would be correct.
A.  Leint - to add urine to ale to make it stronger
B.  Lant - stale urine used in manufacturing
C.  Liffy - to seduce a woman with promises of fidelity and then desert her
D.  Lotium - stale urine formerly used by barbers as a cosmetic for the hair

Okay, open your blue test books. 

HINT:  The three words that belong together each have something to do with flatulence.  Which word doesn't belong?
A.  Meldrop - a drop of liquid suspended at the end of the nose
B.  Bdolotic - prone to farting
C.  Feist - a silent fart
D.  Eproctolagniac - someone who is sexually stimulated by flatulence, his own or someone else's

HINT:  The three words that belong together each refer to the loss of sex drive or the inability to perform sexually.  Which word doesn't belong?
A.  Ozoamblyrosis - the loss of sexual desire due to the unpleasant body odor of one's partner
B.  Obsolagnium - the fading of sexual desire in old age
C.  Agrexophrenia - inability to perform sexually due to a fear of being overheard
D.  Scombroid - resembling a mackerel

HINT:  The three words that belong together each are a derogatory word for an idiot.  Which word doesn't belong?
A.  Dunderwhelp - a detestable numbskull
B.  Gandermooner - a man who chases women during the month after his wife has given birth
C.  Knipperdollin - a fanatical idiot 
D.  Naffin - one who is almost an idiot

HINT:  The three words that belong together each relate to excessive or unwanted hair.  Which word doesn't belong?
A.  Cacocallia - the state of being ugly but sexy
B.  Pogogniasis - growth of a beard on a woman
C.  Dasypygal - hairy-assed
D.  Crurotrichosis - excessive leg hair

HINT:  The three words that belong together each have something to do with excrement.  Which word doesn't belong?
A.  Imbulbitate - to defecate in one's pants
B.  Bescumber - to splatter with feces
C.  Inkle - to attend a party to which one is not invited
D.  Immerd - to cover with excrement

Begin.

It was June 1967 and I was nearly 15 when Sgt. Peppers was released.  The summer of 1967.  Music was changing.  Culture was changing.  The world was changing.   Fifteen year-old boys were changing.

Sgt. Peppers was an important album for many reasons, but mostly because it was the first album released by the Beatles after the death of Paul McCartney.  That's right, Paul died in an auto accident early in the morning on November 9, 1966 shortly after picking up a hitchhiker named Rita.  The Beatles hired a Paul McCartney lookalike and continued to release albums.  You don't believe me?  Play the White Album backwards and you'll hear it.  Paul is dead. 

So we scoured Sgt. Peppers for clues. And there were plenty.  In the lyrics.

Lovely Rita - Took her home I nearly made it
A Day in the Life - He blew his mind out in a car
Good Morning, Good Morning - Nothing to do to save his life

On the cover.

On the back cover, John, George and Ringo face the camera, but Paul has his back to the camera.  And what about the moustache?  What about the costumes?  Obviously they are intended as a distraction, to disguise the near-perfect stand-in for Paul.  The funeral and death references on Sgt. Peppers cover, and also on Abbey Road are obvious.  But if you knew where to go, all would be revealed.  Fortunately, the cover told us plainly Be at Leso.

Of course, the rumors of Paul's death didn't gain traction until 1969, so it's possible I may not have spent the summer of 1967 hunting for clues.  In the end, it really doesn't matter.  I'd never let a little thing like the linearity of time interfere with my reality.  Picture yourself in a boat on a river, With tangerine trees and marmalade skies.  Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly, A girl with kaleidoscope eyes.     

Last night, in Princeton, Classic Albums Live performed Sgt. Peppers cover-to-cover in its entirety and Magical Mystery Tour as well, every note, just as originally recorded in 1967.  It's been 46 years.  Paul is still dead.  Or maybe not.

Will you still need me, will you still feed me.  When I'm sixty-four.