Okay, my favorite poop joke really happened.

I had to baby sit my cousin, who was only about three years old, until my mother came back from some errand. She had just learned how to use the toilet but her arms were still too short to make sure she'd cleaned up thoroughly after. The usual procedure was for her to grab ankles and call for help.

She had eaten an enormous amount of some fruit, maybe watermelon, and had to go very badly. I heard all kinds of noises from the bathroom and winced. She called out for help for what most certainly would be a horrific clean up. I paused.

Just then one of my mother's friends came in the house (a very nice woman always very fashionable and cheery). She asked after my mother and I nodded my head to the bathroom door. The woman walked quickly to the door with an excited smile on her face. Maybe she had some good news for my mother, I don't know because I walked casually out of the room to the front door and then bolted. I ran as far as I could while laughing like a madman.

No real punchline there, but I still laugh about it.

I have to admit, I just popped in to read some poop jokes.  I'll check back later.

Thank you ever so much for the kind words. I've learned a lot from reading your posts, not to mention how many great writers I have found by coming here.

The best poop joke I know should offend 90% of the people who read it:

Officer O'Malley walks out of the precinct station one day, and he sees a young black kid on the sidewalk, playing with dog turds.

"What are you doing, son?" He asks.

"Makin' me an Negro policeman" the boy replies.

This gives O'Malley an idea. He goes back inside, and finds Officer Williams, the precinct's only black policeman.

"Williams", he says. "Go out and ask that kid what he's doing."

Williams does, and the kid replies, "Makin' me a Negro policeman."

O'Malley and the other cops are crowded around the doorway, laughing like crazy.

Williams says to the kid. "Son, don't you have any pride in your heritage? Why is it a Negro policeman? Why not, say an Irish policeman?"

"You kiddin' me?" the boy says. "There's not enough poop here for an Irish policeman."

Poop is the funniest word in an 8 year old boy's vocab. I know because every time I say it he cracks up. It could be because he doesn't expect the old grand oma to say it.

My old lady died in a bathtub

She died from a terrible fit

In order to fulfill her wishes

She was buried in six feet of ...

Shaving cream, be nice and clean

Shave every day and you'll always look keen

Best joke I know, thanks to Benny Bell.