Tuesday, 11 October 2011
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Did you ever have one of those days?
You know the kind. When nothing seems to go right.
You go away for the week-end with your girl friend and one thing leads to another and now she's dead. You don't really think you killed her, but your memory is a little hazy in spots. Whether or not you did it, it's clear that when someone finds out she's dead, you're going to be the prime suspect.
You know, one of those days.
So you decide to dispose of the body. You cut your girl friend up with your table saw, until you've got body parts of a manageable size. You toss the body parts in a duffel bag and then you toss the duffel bag in the trunk of your car.
That kind of day.
You decide to sink the body parts in the middle of Delaware Bay. It seems reasonable, but sometimes things just don't work out as planned. Life's funny that way. And then your car breaks down. You walk down the road a ways and by the time you get back, the car is gone, and with it your girl friend Lorraine's body parts.
You ever have one of those days?
And we haven't even gotten to the bad part yet.
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Comments (8)
Nope, never like that.
I need to know what's next!
oh my GAWD! Puhleeze.
My table saw blade only sticks up about 3 3/4 inches so cutting up a body involves two passes at least or some additional work with other tools. A reciprocating saw might be more effective (although a little slower), and it would be easier to contain the bodydust (as it were). In a rural area a chainsaw would be feasible.
I don't have a duffel bag that big, and wouldn't be able to lift it if I did. It would take two or three of the pieces of luggage I have to fit a whole girlfriend. Then there's ballast. I have some sash weights from a window I replaced that would probably do the trick.
One problem with the trunk is that if you get a flat tire, the spare and the tools are going to be hard to get to without moving the bag(s). The back seat would also have its hazards if you got pulled over or were in an accident. But that's all a moot point if the car breaks down, as yours did.
If you're lucky, the car was stolen by frostbacks and your girlfriend has made it safely into Canada.
@Roadkill_Spatula - You seem to know just a little bit too much about how to do this successfully.
Oh man no, and I hope I never do. However i did sit on a thistle the other day. Does that count?
@doahsdeer - As a handyman it's my job to know a little of everything.
man oh man.... too much cast off using a power saw of any type. Better to use dry ice....